How ADHDers can annoy one another.
We are all asking for inclusion, understanding and more empathy. But, have we ever thought about how one ADHD human can annoy another ADHD human? Then, where lies the empathy and understanding? Which side is responsible?
Often, people with ADHD struggle to sit still, this may result in foot tapping, another limb tapping, pen tapping or just fidgeting and making some noise at the same time. These behaviours are not seen as odd in a place, where quiet is not required. However, in the classroom, office, library or at some conference, everyone is trying to listen to that main human on the stage— they are rather annoying. What if that fidgety, foot-tapping person is seated nearby an ADHDer who is trying to focus on something? They can only hear the fidgety behaviour; are they supposed to get angry? Leave the space and seek peace somewhere else? Or maybe gently reprimand the tapping individual? But hey, this would be exclusion, we would not want anyone to tell us to stop fidgeting, right? Because it would cause some harm to our self-esteem. What do we do then?
How to solve this double-edged sword? What is the best solution that would not exclude one or the other? We want to avoid being rude to the fidgeting individual, but at the same time, we are trying to focus. Then, we start fidgeting, they cannot focus. They struggle with the same battle, shall they tell us we are distracting them? We are both out of focus now and might as well get a coffee.
I still do not have a solution.